Sarah Palin Explains Whole New Way of Life entitled "Rec'Creationism"

The Vice Presidential nominee explained further in an interview:

"The Lord intended for us to enjoy the outdoors.
First God created light to allow us to see while Aerial wolf hunting.
Then God put forth the ATV so we can chase down bears (one of his creatures) till they are exhausted and ready to die.
On the third day God put scopes on rifles to help us see where we can’t.
On the fourth day God created bowling to show us which Presidential candidates are strong and which candidates are weak.
On the fifth day God created the sea teeming with creatures and those creatures told us where to drill.
On the sixth day God created man and woman in 'her tight hugging camouflage pants' image.
On the seventh day God kicked back and had a cold one."

McCain Broad Housing Recovery Plan Allows Families To Live In Three of His Four Houses or Maybe Six of his Seven Houses, Whatever.

McCain spoke to the National Economists Society “By allowing between 1 and 6 families with foreclosures depending on my latest residence count, to live in my houses we should make a significant dent in the housing problem.”

Palin To Woo Christ Killing Voting Block

Sarah Palin in a Miami Beach retirement home told reporters “I want to address the needs and concerns of these slayers of the Messiah. In addition to controlling the media and the International Monetary system we need them to make it to Washington.
John McCain and I are mavericks just as in Roman times the Jews were mavericks in crucifying the Son of God.
God Bless them."

Change, Change, Change, Change of Fools

Where is Aretha Franklin when you need her?

John McCain aide says “6.1% record unemployment rate has good personality.”

The McCain spokesman elaborated "It’s not about the fact more Americans than ever are out of work, the unemployed will decide their next president based on the “character and toughness” of those jobs that aren’t there. Some of those non existent jobs might have laid down their jobs for this country."

Sarah Palin To Change CSpan to C Section Channel if she Wins the White House

"I have new bold plans for the media. Cspan is boring and does nothing to reinforce family values" says the never shy Sarah.
"A channel that features Ceaserean sections interspersed with Congressional hearings, that is the kind of America I want to live in."

Republicans and Democrats Working on Bipartisan bill to tell the truth

The bill is tentatively entitled “America First and American Samoa second.”
Other titles being floated around include “The Bridge to Somewhere that is Truth and not Nowhere”
But neither party is hopeful their plan will make it even out of committee.
It is been stalled by filibusters and Dairy Queen’s Peanut Butter Parfait Busters up to now
So far both parties have agreed the plan would involve attaching lie detectors to their tongues whenever addressing the public.
In anticipation of the bill passing each party is searching for future presidential candidates that have had their tongues cut out.