ABC in Talks with Sarah Palin to star in "Fascists Housewives"

A spokeman for ABC described it as a spin off of 'Desperate Housewives' except we will replace promiscuity with book burning and aerial wolf hunting.

Karl Rove to remake Famous 'Deliverance' Scene to "Squeal Like a Democrat"

Capitalizing on the liptick on the pig furor Karl Rove has secured the rights to the film 'Deliverance' and plans via a 527 ad to dub the audio in the famous sodomy scene to “Squeal like a Democrat.”
“Go on squeal. Squeal. Squeal like a democrat.”
"I'm not sure on whether the sodomizer will be applying lipstick, we are running that idea before several focus groups" added Mr. Rove.
Rumors suggest that Todd Palin, may have a walk on part as one of the woodsman. His wife Sarah, the VP nominee, may have a cameo as a chained pit-bull.

"Die Harder So You Can Come Back as a Janitor"

What if John MacClean/John McCain of "Die Hard" fame teamed up with Shirley MacClean of past lives therapy fame? Their next film might be "Die Harder So You Come Back as a Janitor"
http://spentcattle.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=292060

Sarah Palin Scores -450 On Celebrity Jeopardy After She Refuses to Put Her Answers in Question Form

Palin defended her score “I’m under strict instructions not to answer any questions period and putting your answers in question form is just too close to answering a question. It seems like another liberal trick of the left wing media."
It’s reported that Palin later turned down a guest spot on “Whose Line is It Anyway?” adding “I refuse to take part in a show that celebrates Plagiarism.”

McCain's Emergency Housing Bailout Plan to Give Each Lower Income Family a House from the Game 'Monopoly'

“Its not so much a piece of plastic to put over your head as it is a symbol of the American Dream. Plus if times get really tough you can mortgage it and get back half your investment which is in this case nothing.”
McCain went on to add that Sarah Palin does now indeed have foreign policy experience after landing several times on Baltic and Mediterranean Ave.

Suggestions for Bush to Secure Spot as Worse President in History

I sure hope he doesn’t blow this rare opportunity:
Forget off shore drilling. Drill aggressively on the San Andreas fault so people can have natural gas right in their backyards.
Confuse the Timetable for the Troop Withdrawl in Iraq with an Amtrak timetable for D.C trains to Baltimore.
Set up a committee to establish waterboarding as a new Olympic sport for the 2012 games.
Endorse a new product ‘WMD 40’ that helps lubricate Weapons of Mass destruction.
Let Dick Cheney blow the faces off of the Presidents on Mt Rushmore by using a super big shotgun funded by the NRA.
Put up a giant volleyball net in-between the treacherous Pakistani Afghan border and challenge Al Quaida to a best two of out three match.
Take the hardline “we will do everything we need to be tough in Russia. We are going to “Razz” Putin"
Create new image for Freddie Mac by changing its name to Billy Jack.
Stage a Dirty Dancing Farewell party in the Oval office with Ryan Seacrest as the Host.

Sarah Palin claims Foreign Policy experience after replacing State Farm Insurance with Chinese Insurance.

"I read the document cover to cover and now understand the diplomatic nuances of Szechwan collision vs Mongolian collision. I am also well versed in what’s considered a Sunni act of God vs a Shi’ite act of God, though I embrace neither God."