Ronco Presents "Great Thinkers of All Time"

Fat Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity, DesGroceryCartes, plus Neitzsche for children.
http://media.libsyn.com/media/spentcattle/ronco_presents_great_thinkers_MP3.mp3

Chopped Seweycide Hotline

What happens when a suicide hotline becomes crossed with a Chinese Take-Out Restaurant.
http://spentcattle.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=417809

Tasteless Copycat Ponzie Schemes include "Fonzie Investor scam"

With the Madoff Ponzie scheme possibly ripping off investors for 50 Billion dollars several tasteless copycat schemes are emerging including A "Fonzie investor scam" where an overage guy dressed up in leather saying "Aaayy" convinces you of double digit return on credit derivatives.
Another cheat sells you mortgages on Florida swampland that ironically turn out to be worth more than Miami condos.

Conspiracy Theories Abound About Shoe Throwing Incident

People are already circulating theories about what they consider the "real story" behind the Iraqi shoe thrower.
There is allegedly a "Shoe"pruder' film that shows 4 shoes thrown from different angles but two were intercepted by Secret Service Agents. Other people cling to the "single Odor Eater trajectory theory." While still others point to the ten sox found abandonned on the desert knoll as suggesting something greater at work here.
Some people are citing reports that the Iraqi journalist was trained at a comfortable footwear terrorist camp.
Another theory believes the whole thing was staged to try and win first prize on America's Funniest Videos but the President decided he would try and make it real to gain sympathy. A spinoff theory also claimed Dick Cheney shot a hunting buddy in the foot at the same time.
While still others point out there that if you take the film of the hurling shoes and put in super mo one shoe spun nine times and the other eleven times in addition the incident took place at 9:11 Iraqi time

"A Very Blagojevich Xmas"

Blagoyovitch_Xmas_MP3.mp3

Bush To Add Troops To Iraq To Fight Leather Uppers of Mass Destruction

After the President had two shoes hurled at him by an Iraqi reporter President Bush authorized sending 500,000 more troops to Iraq to "find and weed out the leather uppers of mass destruction"
The Secretary of Defense is looking into arming the troops with Kevlar shoehorns.

Illinois To Change State Seal to Eagle Behind Bars

With three of the last six governors imprisoned on corruption charges the State of Illinois has decided to place prison bars in front of the bald eage that graces the official State Seal.
The state is also considering putting a key in the eagles mouth which it could drop to the incarcerated officials as a symbol of freedom.
There are also plans to change its license plate slogan from "Land of Lincoln" to "Live Free or Behind Bars Whichever Comes First."