Monday, February 8, 2010

The Indictment Party

Illinois has produced an articulate extremely intelligent President but now I think its time to go back to our roots.
Its time for the creation of a new party that embraces our long history and tendency towards corruption. This party, well lets call it “the Indictment” party.
Qualified candidates must have a class 1 felony and be at least under investigation for one count of racketeering.
If there are any real names on the petitions of registered voters, the candidates will be immediately disqualified.
This party will give a face to the prostitutes, not hide them away.
The press secretaries for the candidates must be investigative reporters looking into things like where did the money go for blue jean day.
For the indictment party to accuse is to show you care.

The state of the union will be delivered behind bars. The state license plate would feature a graphic of a prisoner making the state license plate.

The wives of candidates will stand by their men through thick and thin and only be allowed to divorce the men if they are faithful and don’t cheat on them.
A special press conference might go a little like this
complete with a tear strewn face the wife musters the courage to speak:
“In the Fall of 2008 I have learned my husband did not sleep with anyone but me. For myself, my children and the good of the party I have no choice but to leave him.
I believed in the promiscuity of the women of Argentina but they have let me down and more importantly have let you, the voters down.”

All bids submitted to the government agencies must be transparent and posted on the internet and by transparent I mean-
Yes the bids must contain why they should be allowed to make the buses, but more importantly who will get the kickbacks and the kickbacks must be earmarked for further corrupt activities like opening a chain of massage parlors, then blackmailing the alderman who frequent them.
For the indictment party “Pay it sleazy” replaces “Pay It Forward”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Intelligent?? anyone can read a teleprompter. Just because he was an affirmative action student at Harvard Law?