Republicans are so adamant and passionate about the need for American oil independence they have decided to literally drill from the GOP Platform at the Republican convention.
A delegate from Kentucky explained
“We constructed a derrick from young republican straw hats and took a thousand pinky rings to create one of the strongest drill bits ever. We are fairly confident we will not hit any natural gas pockets during any keynote address but if we do it will be mixed blessing.
Another delegate added “Why even debate the merits of drilling in the Alaskan refuge when we can explore what’s underneath the convention floor.”