Suggestions for Bush to Secure Spot as Worse President in History

I sure hope he doesn’t blow this rare opportunity:
Forget off shore drilling. Drill aggressively on the San Andreas fault so people can have natural gas right in their backyards.
Confuse the Timetable for the Troop Withdrawl in Iraq with an Amtrak timetable for D.C trains to Baltimore.
Set up a committee to establish waterboarding as a new Olympic sport for the 2012 games.
Endorse a new product ‘WMD 40’ that helps lubricate Weapons of Mass destruction.
Let Dick Cheney blow the faces off of the Presidents on Mt Rushmore by using a super big shotgun funded by the NRA.
Put up a giant volleyball net in-between the treacherous Pakistani Afghan border and challenge Al Quaida to a best two of out three match.
Take the hardline “we will do everything we need to be tough in Russia. We are going to “Razz” Putin"
Create new image for Freddie Mac by changing its name to Billy Jack.
Stage a Dirty Dancing Farewell party in the Oval office with Ryan Seacrest as the Host.

Sarah Palin claims Foreign Policy experience after replacing State Farm Insurance with Chinese Insurance.

"I read the document cover to cover and now understand the diplomatic nuances of Szechwan collision vs Mongolian collision. I am also well versed in what’s considered a Sunni act of God vs a Shi’ite act of God, though I embrace neither God."

Sarah Palin Explains Whole New Way of Life entitled "Rec'Creationism"

The Vice Presidential nominee explained further in an interview:

"The Lord intended for us to enjoy the outdoors.
First God created light to allow us to see while Aerial wolf hunting.
Then God put forth the ATV so we can chase down bears (one of his creatures) till they are exhausted and ready to die.
On the third day God put scopes on rifles to help us see where we can’t.
On the fourth day God created bowling to show us which Presidential candidates are strong and which candidates are weak.
On the fifth day God created the sea teeming with creatures and those creatures told us where to drill.
On the sixth day God created man and woman in 'her tight hugging camouflage pants' image.
On the seventh day God kicked back and had a cold one."

McCain Broad Housing Recovery Plan Allows Families To Live In Three of His Four Houses or Maybe Six of his Seven Houses, Whatever.

McCain spoke to the National Economists Society “By allowing between 1 and 6 families with foreclosures depending on my latest residence count, to live in my houses we should make a significant dent in the housing problem.”

Palin To Woo Christ Killing Voting Block

Sarah Palin in a Miami Beach retirement home told reporters “I want to address the needs and concerns of these slayers of the Messiah. In addition to controlling the media and the International Monetary system we need them to make it to Washington.
John McCain and I are mavericks just as in Roman times the Jews were mavericks in crucifying the Son of God.
God Bless them."

Change, Change, Change, Change of Fools

Where is Aretha Franklin when you need her?

John McCain aide says “6.1% record unemployment rate has good personality.”

The McCain spokesman elaborated "It’s not about the fact more Americans than ever are out of work, the unemployed will decide their next president based on the “character and toughness” of those jobs that aren’t there. Some of those non existent jobs might have laid down their jobs for this country."